Homemade Popcorn or how I hated popcorn and learned to love it

I never have been a fan of popcorn and when I ran a movie theater years ago I began to detest it. I hated the constant tending to the popcorn machine when we were super busy.  I hated people that wanted me to make a plain batch. I hated people that wanted a batch with extra extra extra extra butter– which was 1 out of 10 customers — because I would get butter all over myself. I hated the people that wanted “a fresh batch” even as the popcorn was still popping. But what I hated the most was the smell. It would cling to me no matter what and my whole place started to smell like popcorn. It was so disgusting. The truth is, I really hated that job and transferred it to the snack. I learned all about transference from my high school psych teacher Mr. McLaughlin and I think he would be pretty proud of how I have analyzed that situation today.

I finally quit that horrible job and moved to Texas. A few years ago a friend came to visit and bought some bulk popcorn and it languished in our pantry for years. When we moved to a new house I thought about throwing it out but thought someone someday might want it. Then one broke and hungry night we googled for instructions on how to make popcorn with no gear and found that it was quite easy.

All you do is add a bit of oil to a big pot (like a teaspoon) then add some kernels (probably less than a tablespoon) mix it up, coat the kernels with the oil and heat on high. Make sure you use a lid. Once the kernels start popping shake the pot ever 30 seconds or so so that it doesn’t burn. The who thing takes less than 5 minutes. The first time we made it with earth balance salt and nutritional yeast it was a revelation. Even better than getting to the popcorn level on Bubble Bobble. It is such a cheap and easy snack. I have no idea why people buy microwave popcorn and buy popcorn poppers when it is so simple to do on the stove and zero waste. I think it all must be an evil scheme by popcorn maker corporations. Damn you Orville Redenbacher!!! I am a total convert now which my best friend can not wrap her head around after hearing me complain about it for so many years. She eats popcorn by putting her face in the bowl because she doesn’t like her hands to get greasy. She is not embarrassed at all about doing this in front of other people and that is why I think she is great.